Halloween party safety and sexual violence prevention: Tips from the Sexual Harassment Office at Memorial

 Halloween is meant to be fun, spooky and scary - not seriously scary and icky.

We want Halloween to be fun for everyone in our community AND we recognize there is an increased likelihood of sexualized violence during the Halloween season. In part because costumes and masks can provide anonymity to those who want to cause harm and there tends to be more substance use at Halloween events. 

Here are some tips on how you can stay safe and have fun during Halloween.

Costumes:

Halloween provides an opportunity for people to dress up and role play. Some costumes provide full coverage and some provide little coverage. People will dress as they wish and in costumes that make them feel good. Halloween is not an excuse for cultural appropriation. Let’s hold each other accountable for ensuring our community is inclusive. 

Some people choose costumes that are sexy and that is great! Sexy/low coverage costumes are not consent for any type of sexual violence. Nor does a low coverage costume imply consent or desire for sexual activity. If you see someone who you think looks really attractive in their costume remember they dressed for them, not you. They are not asking for your attention or touch. They are having fun with their friends and enjoying the freedom to dress as they wish. You have no right to comment on their appearance, make sexual gestures or leer at them.

Intervene if you witness someone being inappropriate. Let them know it is not okay in a nonconfrontational manner. Five ways to intervene (when safe) are 1) distract the person causing the harm, 2) delegate someone to seek help/support, 3) document the encounter in writing, video or on a voice recording, 4) delay by checking in on the affected person once it is safe to connect with them, 5) directly intervene. First by making sure it is safe and then being short and concise. You could say something like “we are leaving now” and walking away in a safe direction.

 Cat Calling:

If someone is calling out to you or inappropriately commenting on you or your costume they are cat calling. If you feel safe you can remind them that it is inappropriate. It is everyone’s responsibility to make Memorial a safe space that is free from sexualized violence. This responsibility includes speaking up when someone is cat calling. No one’s Halloween should be scary because they don’t feel safe due to the actions of others.

Using substances:

Substance use impairs judgement which many folks rely on when partying or in new social situations. Substance use can also mean making decisions that you wouldn’t make when sober. It is recommended to have a designated person in your group who stays sober and helps ensure group safety. This person helps ensure everyone gets home, the group you go out with stays together and if harm is caused it gets managed quickly and safely. You can also follow safe use tips https://wellness.uoguelph.ca/news/halloween-safety-substance-use-tips-consent-reminders

Watch and cover your drink and be aware of the source of any substances you use. There are people who intentionally alter substances to increase their chances of sexually assaulting someone and not getting caught. If how you feel does not match with your substance consumption, trust yourself and let a safe person know. Anytime you feel yucky when partying, whether you are using substances or not, find someone you trust and let them know. In most bars the staff and security will help if you cannot find a friend. 

Consent:

Remember consent is mandatory. Consent cannot be implied by clothing or actions. Consent can not be given on behalf of anyone else. Remember the consent FRIES:

• Freely Given: there is no pressure, force, threat, fear or power being used to influence the decision to give consent. Additionally, consent is sober.
• Reversable: a person can change their mind (revoke their consent) at any time. Including in the middle of an affection.
• Informed: all parties know what they are agreeing to and understand the implications.
• Enthusiastic: all participants want to be involved, are excited to participate and are sharing that enthusiasm with those involved.
• Specific: consent is moment-to-moment and affection-to-affection. If given consent to hug this does not mean you can hug that person again in 10 minutes, it does not mean you can kiss them after you hug, it does not mean they want any romantic or sexual involvement with you. Each affection, moment and person require consent and regular checking in.

Getting home safely:

Plan to get home safe. Consider the bus schedule, availability and cost of taxis, the weather conditions if walking and how to get home safely if you are disconnected from your friend group. Make sure your phone is charged and in a safe place on your body!

Have fun, care for yourself and others, and help contribute to a sexual violence free Halloween.